


Stay with me

by LittleLuxxie



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Lyrium Addiction, One Shot, POV Cullen Rutherford, Templar Inquisitor, Templars (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5864035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxxie/pseuds/LittleLuxxie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He had thrown every ounce of pride he had to the winds, and begged her not to do it. But he had known it was for naught. (...) Now he had to watch her drink the blasted thing every day."</p><p>One-shot with a warrior Inquisitor who has chosen the Templar specialization, and is in a relationship with Cullen since before. From Cullens POV a morning he wakes from a nighmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> Tracy in this fic is the same character as in my Mass Effect-series. An alternative reality were she was born Trevelyan in Thedas, instead of Shepard. It wasn't my main playthrough, just a fun idea I wanted to try.
> 
> That she would be a warrior was obvious. I wasn't planning on playing any romance with her, but since Cullen is the perfect mix between Kaidan and Garrus... They fell in love, I couldn't help it. Then it was time to choose specialization, and it was obvious what Tracy would choose. (If I had got to decide she would've chosen something else, but she is who she is.)
> 
> So bottom line, I'm a horrible person for what I did to poor Cullen. I'm sorry.

He woke up with a jerk, his breathing staggered and frantic. He could still feel the hands grasping after him, but of course there were none. Confused, he looked around, but only saw the calm of Tracys room and the early light of dawn slipping through the curtains. He laid back down with a sigh. If he closed his eyes the picture of her dead eyes staring up at him re-appered. He saw her being ripped apart, while he was unable to move, unable to help. The images made his heart race again and he felt sick.

It was just a dream he told himself and tried to deliberately slow down his breathing. He turned to the side, searching for her to reassure himself it hadn't been anything but a dream. Luckily, his frantic stirring hadn't woke her up. She lay on her stomach, hugging the pillow on which she rested her head. The morning light played in her red hair. Her face was relaxed, mouth slightly open and she looked peaceful. Her breathing was soft and slow.

His heart filled with warmth at the sight of her and he reached out a hand to caress her cheek. Carefully, he put a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The touch made her smile in her sleep. She was real, she was there, she was fine. The dream image faded, though it would never disappear fully. Too much real fear and danger was intertwined with it. But for now, both of them lied safely in her bed.

He raised himself up on one elbow, looking at her. The fearsome warrior, the rock they all leaned on. The one who never wavered in the face of danger. It was hard to imagine it was the same person that slept soundly beside him. How had he been so lucky that he ended up here, with her? He didn't know.

It had seemed a silly dream, an unobtainable desire. Surely he was imagining her quickly turning her head when he looked up sometimes. Imagining the little smile that played on her lips when she caught his eyes lingering. That she came to talk to him more often than was necessary. He didn't dare believe, it would've been asking too much.

But then they had been standing alone on the battlements. The wind had messed up her short hair. A lock of hair had strayed that time too, flying in front of her eyes. Her eyes that had looked at him with that... That feeling he hadn't dared hope for. She had asked if he really didn't know, an underlining of uncertainty in her voice. How it had changed into a crooked smile after he kissed her, and she had said it had been exactly what she'd wanted.

The memory made him smile, and he wanted to lean in and kiss that soft mouth again. But if he did, he would wake her up and he didn't want that. Not when she was sleeping so peacefully for once. He wasn't alone with being pained by nightly terrors.

Then a heavy lump resettled in his stomach, when he remembered why she was sleeping better. It didn't make him feel good, quite the opposite. Her nightmares had almost completely stopped a few weeks ago, when she started taking lyrium. It worried him that she was sleeping easier when she took it. The thought brought new wrinkles to his forehead.

He had thrown every ounce of pride he had to the winds, and begged her not to do it. But he had known it was for naught. She had looked at him with a pained expression and a hand on his cheek. “I'm sorry, Cullen. But I have to do this.”

He'd shaken his head. Of course she would sacrifice herself if she thought it would help. Anything to reach their goal, anything to defeat Corypheus and save the world. In theory, he agreed with her, he was also prepared to sacrifice a lot. But not her, not again, never again.

But they were fighting mages, and when she got the offer to learn Templar abilities it had been obvious she would accept. Even after everything he had told her. Now he had to watch her drink the blasted thing every day. It was a double torture, both because it was harder for him to resist and because he knew what it would do to her in time.

She wasn't a real Templar, though, she wasn't part of the Order, thankfully. She had promised that she wouldn't continue taking it when the war was over. He just knew, better than anyone, how hard that would be. How she would have to live the rest of her life with the pull for lyrium, like he did. That pained him, he didn't wish that on anyone, especially not on the one he loved.

He tried to tell himself it didn't have to be that bad. If she only took it for a year or two, and didn't overdose, then maybe it wouldn't... Or maybe it was just a fool's hope. But one didn't have to do like he had done, he winced when he remembered how much he had been taking on a daily basis before he stopped. It had been much more than the allotted daily dose. Because of that he got worried now, when she was sleeping better on it. He hadn't noticed any other change in her though, but he was constantly on the look out for it. Watching from the corner of his eyes how much she took each day. And trying not to let her notice how worried he was.

Absent-mindedly he started stroking her back, reminding himself again that she was there and she was fine. He would have to try to let it go. The decision was made, and it had never been his to make. He tried to think about how much better she was fitted to meet their enemy now, that it raised her chances of coming back home to him. Because that was true. He tried to not think about how it would feel to meet her eyes, and not find any recognition there...

Up her spine his hand trailed, over her shoulder blades. He felt her relaxed muscles under the soft skin. She made a content little sound, a smile puckered in the corner of her mouth and she glimpsed open an eye.  
“Morning.”  
He leaned in and kissed her softly.  
“Morning.” He mumbled against her lips and felt her smile. But then she backtracked and looked concerned at him. She placed a finger between his eyebrows.  
“What is this about?” She asked, while her finger tried to soothe the furrow away.  
“Nothing.” He said evasively.  
“Cullen...”  
“Tracy.”  
“Very clever. What is it, bad dream?” She insisted.  
“Not worse than usual, I was just thinking...” His voice trailed off. He didn't want to bring up the subject again, it got them nowhere to talk more about it.  
“That sounds ominous.” There was a teasing underlining in her voice, but she furrowed her own eyebrows in concern. “About?”  
He shrugged.  
She put two and two together. “Ah... I see.”  
She had been trailing a path along his hairline, cheek and jaw while they talked. Now her hand moved to his neck, her thumb caressing the side. She raised herself up on her other arm, and leaned her forehead against his.  
“I'm sorry, Cullen.”  
“I know.” He said softly.  
“You need to stop worrying. I'll be fine.” She said quietly and kissed him again. He returned it hungrily.  
“We'll be fine.” She said then.  
He sighed. “I'll try.”  
“I know.”  
He felt her hand searching down his back, slowly and carefully. She kissed his jawline, then down his neck. The knot in his stomach untangled at the same rate a warmth emanated from every place her lips touched his skin.  
“Now you're just trying to distract me.” He said.  
She hummed against his neck. “Is it working?”  
He let his own hand stroke her waist, and then he caught her lips with his.  
“I love you.” He whispered.  
“I love you, too.”


End file.
